the TRUTH

Served fresh on a weekly basis

 

 

 

 

 

2/27/04 – 3/4/04

 

OH MY GOD, BOB SAGET ROCKS!

 

Bob saget can cook one hell of an omelet sandwich. I’m not talking about just any omelet sandwich, this is a 5 STAR omelet sandwich. If you were to eat Bob’s omelet sandwich you would literally blow up on impact!

 

THIS JUST IN, BOB SAVES SMALL BOY! While walking his dog Bob noticed that a woman had kidnapped a young boy and was pushing him down the street in a carriage. Bob tackled the woman and brought the baby to authoritys. Upon questioning the baby only had to say “Mommy… Mommy!!!”

 

Bob Saget directed the movie Dirty Work, a movie about a revenge business. This one time when I was young I threw a rock at this dudes car so he yelled at me. So I put rocks down his gas tank and when he turned it on the engine blew up. SWEET REVENGE!

 

 

 

2/19/04 – 2/26/04

 

Bob is such a magical and loving being. One time Bob was walking down the street and a homeless midget asked him to help him out, so Bob used his godly powers to make the man a delicious bologna sandwich. Later Bob also helped the man find a job as a midget porn star and then later adopted the young man. Another time Bob saw dog having a hard time taking a shit so he fed the dog a shitfull of ex-lax (no pun intended… ok maybe some). The dog had no problem taking a dump after that, Bob then found a nice Vietnamese family to adopt the dog. Unfortunently the family ate the dog later on. BOB SAGET CAN SHOOT LASERS FROM HIS EYES. There was this one time when two women were fitting each other in a parking lot. So Bob Saget bought a whole lot of mud and sold tickets to horny men and then let the women keep all the money, BOB SAGET IS GREAT! Bob Saget created the Cotton Gin.

 

BOB SAGET IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CAPTURE OF SADDAM HUSSEIN. That’s right, Bob Saget used is omnificent powers to track down the former dictator. Bob Saget is currently working on capturing America’s other two prime targets, THE OLSEN TWINS.

 

Bob Saget has a wife and kids, THAT MEANS BOB SAGET HAS SEX! Wow Bob Saget is great.

 

Bob Saget is ACTUALLY funny. He directed Dirty Work with his eyes closed. Bob once found a bag full of money and returned it, (the bag that is, he spent the money on strippers, strippers with cancer!) Bob Saget can turn water into ice, AND THEN CHANGE IT RIGHT BACK, THAT’S AMAZING! Bob Saget once fed an entire African Village with the left overs from one of his orgies… FANTASTIC! Bob swam the English Channel, using only the DOGGY PADDLE!

 

Bob is watching you right now… wait sorry, he’s in the bathroom, he’ll be back in a min to watch you…

 

Bob Saget doesn’t have to eat or drink, HE’S GOD!

 

Bob Saget once kicked Satan’s ass, then had sex with his mom! No kidding, Satan was really pissed, so he slashed Bob’s tires. Bob in return damned Satan the eternal hell…